AKA “How did you find my website?”
You know when you need to discover the answer to a burning question, you get dressed, walk 3 miles into town to the library, pull all the relevant books with tiny, boring print, schlep them to the nearest table while the librarian glares at you because you’re too noisy…
Oh, wait. Wrong decade.
Search engines, like Google, are our friends. (And save us from walking uphill, both ways, in the snow!) For the lone writer like me, it’s the best way to discover how readers like you find my website. I don’t care how you find it, just that you do.
Some searches are easy and I’m glad when I have answers for them, such as:
- “What are the latest kitchen trends?” Planning a 2012 version as we speak. In the meantime, check out my category on Home Trends to Watch, if you’d like to check to see if my earlier trend predictions panned out. (Totally innocent segue to let you know what I’m planning; I’m subtle that way.)
But the following searches aren’t really questions at all. They’re half-finished stories that leave me dying to hear the rest, like these gems discovered last week:
- “Used a grout pen to change the color” – Um…did it work?
- “Bathtub skirt tile mesh” – Please tell me you don’t think it will hang like an actual skirt? You do know the skirt is built first, and then the tile is…darn it. Now I’m diverted by the image of tinkling mosaics swaying gently around the tub…
- “Induction cooktop over dishwasher” – No, uh-uh, no way, no how. Okay, maybe if you lowered a single dishwasher drawer over halfway to the floor. Most induction cook tops have a shield mounted below the unit inside the cabinet. It needs to be installed, no ifs, ands, or buts. That’s why standard dishwasher won’t fit…unless you chop off the top 1/3rd of the dishwasher. (That’s a joke. Don’t do it.) So what’s the half-finished story with that, you ask? It was back-to-back with the next search…
- “Kitchen design problem cook top installation” – What if this is the same person? O.o.
- “Steampunk bath mat” – Er, no. Maybe I need to get my new steampunk accessory line started. Hard to find good design for steampunk baths.
- “Multimedia bullnose wall plate” – Huh?
- “Zebra looking kitchen hardware” – Okay, fine. *grumbles* Now I need to know. But please tell me you’re not pairing it with antlers over the cook top or a basket-weave island….(5 minutes later): Ta-dah. Here you go: Laurey’s Safari Line.
I know! Not too shabby, right?
I mourn that multi-media bullnose wall plate. What purpose could it possibly serve? Did someone not draw out the tile detail and the plate hangs in mid-air? Is it too close to an opening? A door? Did it have to match something else?
We’ll never know.


